Photo by pressfoto
The story of Maya Butalid, an overseas Filipino in the Netherlands originally from the Philippines, shows the incredible power of family.
Her book, Chasing Windmills, tells how she kept her Filipino identity alive while building a new life far from home.
Maya’s experiences are not all too different within the broader Filipino diaspora. Filipinos around the world are always striving to maintain their identity and traditions while living abroad. It was not an easy journey. But the deep family bonds and supportive relationships she nurtured gave her the strength to succeed.
For millions of Filipinos living abroad, family is the anchor. It is the force that keeps traditions strong across oceans and generations.
Photo by freepik
The Power of Family Starts with Language
For any family living now in a new country, language is an important matter. Maya and her husband, Carlo, coming from the Philippines, of course, spoke a language wholly different from Dutch, the language spoken in the Netherlands. Between each other and at home, they both spoke Cebuano–one of the many, many languages in the Philippines–and, aside from it being their mother tongue, using it was essential for maintaining their family’s cultural roots.
Thus, they also wanted their daughters, Ligaya and Elena, to know their native tongue, wanting to make it a key part of their identity.
When Ligaya was young, she asked her mother if they could just speak Dutch at home because it was easier for her.
Maya was hurt by the sentiment, being proud of her heritage and not wanting her children to forget where they came from. So, she explained why their language was so important, telling Ligaya:
“This is the language of your family, your roots. And I just want you to be able to communicate with the rest of your family back home.”
Sometimes, families can get things wrong or misunderstand each other’s intentions when it comes to preserving language and culture. This is especially the case for those who were born or spent their formative years in another country.
Yet, by insisting on speaking Cebuano, even if it was only her, Maya was building an unbreakable connection for her children. Most of the time, language is not simply the kinds of words we say–when we learn a language, we are preserving a way of life and a sense of belonging. It is a direct line to distant grandparents, cousins, and the homeland of your forefathers.
This is a clear example of the power of family to pass on culture.
Food, Stories, Feelings, and Shared Memories
Food is another powerful way families keep their traditions alive. In Chasing Windmills, Maya recounts a time when Ligaya showed pride in having Filipino cuisine.
When a friend visited and enjoyed the dinner her mother had cooked for them, Ligaya proudly said, “That’s Filipino food. That’s what we always eat for dinner.”
These meals, reminders of a world an ocean away, play an important role in preserving heritage and anchoring one’s culture in another place. The smells and tastes of home-cooked Filipino food helped make the Netherlands feel more familiar for Maya. These meals also become moments of family love and strength, when stories about the homeland are shared, and new memories can be made.
For children growing up abroad, these experiences teach them what it means to be Filipino.
The Power of Visiting Home
For one’s culture to truly take root among the next generation, visits to the homeland are vital. This was also the case for Maya, who wanted her children to think of their trips back to the Philippines as more than just vacations.
Journeys back home can be intense lessons in culture and family bonds.
For Maya’s children, these visits were opportunities to make abstract ideas feel more real. It is one thing to talk about the country–and another to actually take the time to visit it.
During one of their visits to the Philippines, Ligaya finally understood the Filipino value of pakikiramdam, which meant being sensitive to others’ feelings. Her grandfather made her understand when he gave her all his mangoes because he sensed she liked them, but was too shy to say anything about it. Another instance of pakikiramdam that she experienced was when her aunt offered her her own mattress after overhearing Ligaya’s concerns about sleeping.
Maya writes, “That’s why you just do not say things without processing them first. Always think what it can mean for the other person.” After that one trip, Ligaya went up to Maya and told her, “I guess I now understand what you always tell me.”
These kinds of experiences encourage thought and reflection on cultural values and personal identity. These visits are opportunities to build a more unbreakable connection with one’s roots, allowing children to feel the culture and not just hear about it.
This is the power of family in action, building bridges across the world.
Raising Children with Two Cultures
Raising children with two cultures is a constant conversation for immigrant parents. It requires strong family bonds to do it successfully.
When, at three years old, Ligaya asked Maya, “Mama, am I Filipino or Dutch?”
Maya did not give a simple answer. She couldn’t give her a simple answer, for there was no simple answer to give. What she did instead was help Ligaya see the beauty of being both.
Ligaya’s response was simply giddiness at being a union of two cultures: “Oh, how nice! I am ‘two’!… You and Papa are only ‘one’, right?… But I am ‘two’!”
This moment shows the power of family to guide and reassure, helping children navigate two worlds and teaching them to be proud of both their heritage and their new home.
Photo by pch.vector
A Connection Across Oceans
Even from far away, the power of family remains strong. Maya stayed deeply connected to her family in the Philippines, writing Chasing Windmills, at first, as a book for her daughters and grandchildren. She wanted to share her life’s journey and the insights she gained.
She wanted her grandchildren to know “where their Lola [comes] from.”
This desire to pass on stories is a powerful tradition and, by sharing her experiences and values, Maya is creating a legacy that will be felt for future generations.
Discover more inspiring stories about culture, identity, and the strength of family in Maya Butalid’s Chasing Windmills.
