In the Netherlands there is this strange concept of an allochtoon. People coming from non-Western countries and who reside in the Netherlands, or those who have at least one parent who was born in a non-Western country is considered to be allochtoon (plural: allochtonen). Strictly speaking allochtoon refers to those with a migrant background, but in daily usage it usually refers to people coming from non-Western countries or whose parents were born in non-Western countries. Since Carlo and myself were born in the Philippines, we and our children are considered to be allochtoon.
Many native Dutch associate those considered allochtoon as : not being fully integrated in Dutch society, having difficulties with the Dutch language, and having a lower educational level. Many government policies and programs directed at the allochtonen usually address these problems. Elementary and high schools with allochtoon children get, for example, an additional subsidy from the government to be used for extra tutorials for their allochtoon school children.
Being an allochtoon had always been a part of my consciousness. Or I would rather say, when you are an allochtoon in the Netherlands you would almost always be confronted with the fact of your being allochtoon. When I was new in my job as a coordinator of a parenting program my boss had told one Dutch para-professional under my supervision that she should support me because I am a Filipina (read: an allochtoon). I am not really hierarchical in my style of supervision; I give people whom I supervise a lot of room to do things that they deem necessary for their work. I also involve them as much as possible in our work processes. My boss felt that I was giving this Dutch para-professional too much freedom, so he stepped in and controlled her actions. This Dutch para-professional did not like this and told him, in my presence, that it was his idea that she should support me because I was a Filipina. That was when I learned of my boss ‘instructions’. Although I did not make a fuss about it, my boss profusely explained to me that the para-professional must have misunderstood him.
Although my boss’ initial lack of confidence in my capability was exacerbated by the fact that I was not white, I told him that this was his management prerogative. Anyway, at that time, he still did not know what I was capable of doing. But it did occur to me that as an allochtoon you first need to prove yourself.

Another incident when I was reminded of my being an allochtoon was when I got the position as individueel trajectbegeleider (career counselor) in the institution where I worked. I had this consultation with a Dutch colleague. What I did not know was that she also vied for the position that was just granted to me. During our meeting she told me that she actually also vied for my position and that she was disappointed because it was given to ‘just anybody’, while she has a HBO (hoger beroepsonderwijs, higher professional level) diploma. She sort of implied to me that I was given preferential treatment because I was an allochtoon. I felt insulted but ignored the remark and continued to talk business with her. Later, she could not anymore resist and asked me directly what my educational background was. I replied curtly, “I studied Psychology at the Tilburg University”. This Dutch colleague was obviously taken aback – my educational level was higher than hers. Although I knew that I had put her in her place, I went home that day feeling bad because I was uncomfortable with having to wave my credentials. I bet if I were white it would not have occurred to her that my credentials were maybe less than hers.
I remember one discussion that I had in my class in cross-cultural psychology in which we discussed how to help allochtoon students and children of migrants succeed better in school. One of the Dutch students suggested that the standard for allochtoon students should be adjusted such that it will be easier for them to get their diploma. I reacted strongly against the suggestion. “If you have a different set of standards for allochtoon students, then that would also make their diploma have a lower value than the ‘regular’ diplomas. If we are really sincere about helping allochtoon students to cope, we should provide more support services to them instead of lowering the standards by which they are assessed.”

When I started to work in a Dutch institution I was aware of the fact that I did not speak nor write perfect Dutch. I would then ask the secretary of our department to correct my grammar before sending out any of my letters. Our secretary found my request quite peculiar. Seemingly I was the only allochtoon in our office who wanted my Dutch language corrected. Other allochtoon colleagues would feel offended if their Dutch language would be corrected. I told her that I did not want to spend hours trying to write a letter in good Dutch when I could do something more productive. I used this arrangement as an opportunity to improve my mastery of the Dutch language. I would then compare the reworked version of my letter with the original version that I wrote to learn from the corrections that had been made. Eventually our secretary told me that I no longer needed to give my letters to her for corrections as my written Dutch was already good enough.
Being seen as an allochtoon, I felt that there were certain expectations people had of me. When I told for example my boss about Ligaya’s choice of high school, he was quite surprised why she will be going to a high school with predominantly white students. He, for example, sent his child to an elementary school with many children of migrants, because he wanted his child to be exposed to the multicultural Dutch society. I told my boss that “being an allochtoon, my considerations are different from yours. We are already confronted daily with the fact that we have a different cultural background. So we don’t need to be exposed to the Dutch multicultural society, since we are right in the middle of it.” Besides Carlo and I value academic excellence, something we brought with us from our upbringing in the Philippines. Both Ligaya and Elena qualified for the HAVO-VWO high school. This is the type of high school which prepares students for higher professional and academic education. And the HAVO-VWO high school they chose was known for its excellent academic training, and happened to have predominantly white students.
As an allochtoon I also felt that I needed to be ‘loyal’ to my allochtoon group. In one meeting of those involved in the Opstap program (a parenting program which targeted poor families with children aged 4 to 6 years old), when the topic revolved around the problems of migrant families, I brought up the problem of Dutch families. We had always been discussing about the problems of migrant families. But Dutch families also have problems. In fact, I have the impression that their problems are more complicated. With the migrant families, the problems seem to be mainly related to them having a different cultural background, problems in understanding the Dutch systems and a lack of mastery of the Dutch language. But with the Dutch families living on social security subsidies, the problems I encountered in families participating in the Opstap program were far more complex, like drug addiction, excessive alcohol use, excessive gambling, living in debt, social isolation, distressed single parents, children caught in the tug-of-war between divorcing parents, and even child abuse. These cannot be addressed by the regular Opstap program alone. So in that meeting I made an appeal that we should develop some kind of an ‘Opstap Plus’ program for the Dutch families. This was approved and I was tasked to start an experimental group of Dutch families for the Opstap Plus program. I was of course happy that my point was taken, but I was also disturbed why I had to be the one to bring up the issue of the poor Dutch families. Two other coordinators of the program were Dutch. It felt like I was ‘betraying’ the allochtoon families. In the first place, that program was especially designed for the allochtoon families, and here I was, an allochtoon myself wanting to use extra resources of the program for the Dutch families.
Another instance when I felt I was not loyal to my allochtoon group was when I participated in the quality management team of the institution where I worked. Our team was tasked to evaluate our institution and come up with proposals how to obtain a quality certification. When we presented our evaluation and proposals to the rest of our colleagues, I was taken aback by the intense reactions of our Turkish colleagues. We forgot to evaluate the institution in terms of multiculturality! I forgot to inject the issue of the migrant! I almost cried. I felt it was my fault, and I felt like a traitor to my kind when I did not represent the migrants’ issues.

From being an allochtoon to just being me
All these ‘grappling’ of being an allochtoon actually occurred in my first 20 to 25 years in the Netherlands. I am now in my 36th year of living in the Netherlands. There was a point in time, I could not remember anymore exactly when, when I realized that people around me (not only those close to me like my colleagues but also people I randomly talk to in the street) no longer deal with me as an allochtoon. Well, at least, I did not feel anymore that I am always confronted with the fact that I am an allochtoon. It’s just me, Maya, the person that I am. I guess I must have evolved.
Both Ligaya and Elena experience their being an allochtoon differently as I did. This is logical, since both of them were born in the Netherlands. I have the impression that they are not always confronted with the fact that they are allochtoon.
When Elena was in high school, for example, some of her friends would sometimes complain about the allochtonen, saying all kinds of bad things about them. To which Elena would say, “Hold on a minute; haven’t you noticed that I, an allochtoon, am here?” Her friends would respond, “But you are not an allochtoon.” Then, Elena would explain that since both of her parents were born in the Philippines, she is – by definition – an allochtoon. “ Allochtoon people come in all kinds, just like the Dutch, and it is wrong to lump us all together, and say bad things about us”, she would tell her friends.
In one of our family visits to the Philippines, some of Ligaya’s Dutch friends also happened to be there. When I talked with her Dutch friends, the two of them told me that they actually just realized then that Ligaya is a Filipina (read: allochtoon), now that they see her among many Filipinos. They never really saw her as different from them, as somebody with another cultural background.
While I find it important that my daughters are conscious of their Filipino cultural background, I am actually happy to see that they are spared of the prejudices that go with being an allochtoon. I am happy to see that they could just be themselves, Ligaya and Elena, the persons that they are. Like me now, after so many years of being an allochtoon, that I could just be me, Maya, the person that I am.