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Maya Butalid’s memoir on Filipino-Dutch identity, Chasing Windmills, offers a powerful look at what it means to live between cultures.
Her story shows that identity in the intersections is not about choosing one side over the other, but, instead, it is about holding both worlds together.
When her young daughter asked if she was Filipino or Dutch, Maya paused, realizing the question had no simple answer. “You are lucky to be ‘two,'” she finally told her child: a moment that captured the heart of her journey—learning that belonging to two places is not a burden but a wonderful gift.
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Identity in the Intersections
An identity at the intersections describes a person’s multiple backgrounds simultaneously–and for Maya, this meant being both Filipino and Dutch, both an activist and a mother, both a migrant and a local leader. These roles do not cancel each other out but exist together, all adding up to her identity.
People often think of identity as a single thread, but Maya shows it is more akin to a piece of cloth with each strand—her Filipino roots, her Dutch life, her political past, her family roles—adding strength and color to the whole weave.
None disappearing but creating something new.
Her daughter once told her, “I am actually a Dutch [person] imprisoned in a Filipino body,” and Maya laughed, sagely understanding that her children were finding their own way through this complicated world–young girls who were no less Filipino for being Dutch but were simply themselves.
This overlapping social identities approach helps us see that a person can be fully one thing and fully another at the same time.
Finding Yourself by Looking Outward
Maya discovered something surprising about knowing who you are. In the Netherlands, people often teach that you find yourself by looking inward. Ask what you want, and what drives you.
But Maya found this approach limited.
“Self-knowledge is achieved not by focusing on yourself but precisely by paying attention to others and to your environment.”
This understanding would shape her whole life. Her individual character grew not from sitting alone and thinking, but from acting alongside others.
When she worked with poor Dutch families, she learned their struggles were real and deep. When she helped refugees, she understood their pain. Each connection added to who she was. Her multifaceted selfhood developed through service, not through isolation.
This way of seeing changes everything. You do not lose yourself by helping others. You find yourself and become much more whole.
Collective Heritage While Being An Individual
Maya’s Filipino background stayed with her wherever she lived; it was deeply embedded in her psyche. Her mother had taught her what unconditional love looked like, while her father planted seeds of fighting for what is right.
These lessons did not fade when she moved to the Netherlands.
Yet, it cannot be said that she did not change. Living in a new country added layers to her being: she learned the language deeply, became a city councilor, and understood poverty in a new way. None of this made her less Filipino. It simply made her more herself.
I belong to two places: the Philippines and the Netherlands. Both places have shaped my identity.”
Her collective heritage from the Philippines gave her a foundation. Her life in the Netherlands gave her room to grow.
This is the beauty of identity in the intersections. You carry your past forward, adding new experiences and, in the end, becoming a fuller person.
Staying Grounded Through Community
Maya found that staying connected to the Filipino community helped her build a stable life in the Netherlands. Her research on overseas Filipinos found that joining Filipino organizations helped people integrate more effectively. This surprised some people. They thought migrants should leave their own groups behind.
But Maya found the opposite. Having a secure base gave her the strength to reach out. She writes about her work with Filipino newsletters and women’s organizations. These groups were not barriers to joining Dutch society. They were launching pads.
Her research showed that “integration appeared to be the most preferred acculturation strategy.” This means keeping your cultural identity while becoming part of the larger society. It is not about letting go but about holding both.
Her grandchildren now call her Lola, the Filipino word for grandmother. They also know they are Dutch. This balance is what she worked for.
A Mother’s Love and Unconditional Belonging
Maya’s deepest understanding of identity came from her mother. She describes a woman who was rough around the edges but full of love, who accepted everyone and did not judge, letting her children live their own lives.
When Maya became an activist against the dictatorship, her mother worried. But she did not stop her. “I cannot agree with what you are doing as it is dangerous and I want you to be safe,” her mother said. “But I admire you for standing up for what you believe in.”
This unconditional love shaped how Maya raised her own daughters. She wanted them to be free to become who they were. She did not force them to choose between Filipino and Dutch. She let them be both.
She writes that a mother’s heart “does not make judgments on her children.” This love became the foundation for everything else. When you know you belong completely, you can explore all the parts of who you are.
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The Journey Continues
Maya’s story does not end with answers. It continues with questions. After breast cancer, she had to let go of some activities she loved. She had to recreate herself again. This is what identity in the intersections looks like in practice. It is never finished.
She still walks long distances, still works for refugees, and still connects with Filipinos and Dutch people alike.
And Maya is still both, still becoming.
Chasing Windmills invites readers into this journey; it is a story for anyone who has ever felt torn between worlds and shows that belonging to two places is one of the most wonderful things in the world.
Discover more of Maya Butalid’s journey in Chasing Windmills and be inspired by her story of living between cultures, fighting for justice, and finding home in two worlds.
