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Motherhood is the greatest and hardest thing a person can take on. To be a mother is to be asked everything and to give back in ways you would never have expected.
Maya Butalid, author of Chasing Windmills, writes openly about her own path as a mother, providing reflective lessons from motherhood. She shows that parenting is not about being perfect but is more about being present for your children.
Her words help us see that the struggle and the love felt as a mother are two sides of the same coin. No mother walks this road without feeling lost at some point, but within that lost feeling lies a chance to grow stronger than you ever imagined possible.
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Reflective Lessons from Motherhood
Advice tells you what to do, but reflective lessons from motherhood, on the other hand, show you who you are becoming.
Mothers hear plenty of tips from family, friends, and the internet.
- Sleep when the baby sleeps.
- Make time for yourself.
- Do not forget date night.
But lived experience works very differently. These moments grow inside you through late nights, hard conversations, and quiet sacrifices that no one else sees.
This kind of learning changes the paradigm of your heart, not just your schedule. Emotional growth can come from reflection, where you pause and ask yourself why something hurt or why a small moment brought so much joy.
Psychological strength builds when you accept that you do not have all the answers. Paradoxically, that acceptance is actually a form of freedom in disguise.
Maya Butalid explains this well: “As a mother, you will always be connected to your children. That umbilical cord connecting a mother to her child in her womb is never really cut.”
This metaphysical connection is the source of both deep pain and deep love. Understanding that truth matters more than any parenting hack, advice fades quickly.
But the lessons you learn by surviving hard days stay with you forever and become part of who you are as a mother and as a person.
Additionally, reflective lessons help mothers trust themselves more.
When you look back at what you have already overcome, you realize you are stronger than you thought. That realization is priceless and is something no book or class can give you. Only life can teach it.
Lessons of Motherhood from Maya Butalid
Maya Butalid does not sugarcoat motherhood, describing it as a force that reshapes everything in your life. In Chasing Windmills, she admits that hearing her cancer diagnosis saddened her most because of the pain it would bring her daughters. “[The sadness] that it would bring to Ligaya and Elena is most painful to me,” she writes. This is a reflective lesson from motherhood worth holding onto tightly.
A mother’s heart (for better or for worse) stays tied to her children forever, creating a bond that does not weaken with time or distance, which only deepens.
Maya also shows that motherhood and work can go together without destroying each other. She never gave a serious thought to stopping her job after having children. For her, it was completely usual for a mother to work, which she learned from her own mother, a lawyer who balanced career and family with grace.
Maya passed that same strength down to her own daughters. When her daughter Elena said she was not the “mother” mother type, Maya replied, “not being a ‘mother’ mother type does not mean that you are less of a mother. Even having a full-time job, you can still be a very good mother.”
This lesson frees mothers from unnecessary guilt: you do not have to fit a single image of what a mother should be; you only have to show up with love.
Another powerful lesson from Maya is about letting children find their own identity. Thus, she raised her daughters in two cultures, letting them speak Dutch at home while she spoke Cebuano and never forcing them to be Filipino or Dutch, tacitly allowing them to discover who they wanted to become. That trust became a gift her daughters still carry.
Photo by Drazen Zigic
Embracing the Beauty and Complexity of Motherhood
Motherhood will never be simple or neat, and that is exactly why it matters so much in a person’s life. The beauty lives inside the mess, while the love grows stronger because of the hard days.
Without the hard days, the good days would not feel so precious.
Maya Butalid writes about her own mother with deep gratitude that never fades. Her mother had worked full-time, known for cursing loudly when angry, and accepting people exactly as they were.
She stood up for what was right even when it was hard.
This woman did not fit any tidy image of what a mother should be, but she gave Maya something priceless.
“The heart of a mother is accepting,” Maya recalls. “It does not make judgments on her children.”
This kind of love does not need to forgive because it never held a grudge in the first place. It simply keeps loving.
Embracing motherhood means embracing yourself as you are right now: not the mother you imagined yourself to be five years ago or planned to; not the mother that social media says you should be today.
Just you: just the woman who is trying her best with the energy and knowledge she has.
Maya’s journey across decades shows that motherhood is not about getting everything right on the first try. Motherhood is, above and foremost, about staying connected to your children even when it hurts. Thus, stay honest about your limits and be present even when you are exhausted beyond words.
Maya’s words remind us that the greatest and hardest thing is also the most worthwhile thing a person can ever do. You do not have to walk this path alone, for other mothers have walked it before you.
Their stories can light your way on the darkest days.
Ready to discover more reflective lessons from motherhood and the journey of chasing your own windmills? Get Maya Butalid’s Chasing Windmills, and find strength in her story. Let her words remind you that you are never alone in this beautiful, difficult, transforming journey.
