Photo by Rene Terp
Life has a funny way of presenting us with unexpected gifts, and becoming a grandmother is one of the most wonderful turns of events a woman can experience.
The arrival of a grandchild transforms the world in ways that are difficult to describe until you feel it for yourself.
The relationship is quite different from parenting. For one, it comes with much fewer pressures and more opportunities for pure enjoyment.
For many women, becoming a grandmother prompts them to reflect on their own lives and what they want to pass on to future generations.
As such, grandmotherhood and legacy are intertwined in ways that give this stage of life profound meaning.
Photo by magnific
This is part of the legacy work that grandmothers do.
Thus, the stories we share, the values we demonstrate, and the unconditional love we offer become the inheritance we leave behind.
Maya Butalid, in her memoir Chasing Windmills, captures this transformation beautifully when she describes how her granddaughter Tala “paved the way for this ‘Lola-grandchild’ kind of love to develop“.
This journey into grandmotherhood and legacy building is not always immediate love at first sight, but it grows into something profound and lasting.
Radiating Happiness Through Simple Moments
Grandmothers often find themselves radiating happiness during the simplest activities with their grandchildren. Grandmothers who are socially and emotionally engaged with their grandchildren are less lonely and have better overall health-related quality of life.
This is simply confirmation of what grandmothers have always known—that time spent with grandchildren is not just good for the children, but deeply nourishing for the grandparents themselves.
Maya Butalid discovered this joy in her own life when she began to babysit her grandchildren on a regular basis. She describes her decision to sleep over at her daughters’ houses the night before babysitting, cherishing the evening conversations with her adult children and the playful mornings with her grandchildren.
These simple moments are the building blocks of a meaningful relationship. This is best laid at the earliest. Whether it’s playing board games with Tala, going on outings, or simply reading stories, these kinds of activities enriched both Maya and Tala.
There is also a surprising physicality that comes with being a grandparent. Physical touch, like holding a grandchild’s hand or giving hugs, can actually lessen the pressure on the body. This explains why being around grandchildren is quite rejuvenating.
Butalid found herself rediscovering this when she would hold her grandchildren in her arms, dancing and singing to put them to sleep, a practice she describes as “Filipino style”.
These moments of connection are not just sentimental—they are genuinely good for health.
Tickled Pink by New Perspectives
Grandmothers find themselves completely charmed by the fresh perspectives that grandchildren bring into their lives. Children see the world without the filters and complications that adults have developed, and this can be wonderfully refreshing.
Maya Butalid experienced this when her granddaughter Tala asked about the Philippines, her home country, with such genuine curiosity and enthusiasm as compared to her own children. When Butalid asked her what she liked most about the Philippines, the child enthusiastically replied, “Everything!” adding only that she wished she had understood the language to know the country better.
This unfiltered joy reminded Butalid of the simple pleasures in life that we so often forget as we grow older and wiser to the ways of the world.
Grandchildren also have a way of keeping grandmothers young and connected to the modern world.
Butalid admits that it was her granddaughter Tala who taught her about the many functions of her smartphone beyond just texting and calling. This exchange of knowledge works both ways—grandmothers share wisdom from their years of experience, while grandchildren introduce new ways of thinking and doing things.
This mutual learning is part of what makes the relationship between grandmother and grandchild so dynamic and rewarding.
Grandparenting today often requires adapting to changing times and different parenting styles. Successful grandmothers understand that they must “know their place” and not push their ideas of parenting onto their children unless asked.
This does not mean being passive, but rather being supportive and available when needed.
Butalid adapted to this by following her daughters’ rules for their children, while still finding her own special ways to spoil her grandchildren, giving them what she calls the “special Lola treatment“.
Photo by cottonbro studio
The Legacy of Unconditional Love
Perhaps the most profound aspect of grandmotherhood is another opportunity to practice and demonstrate unconditional love.
In Chasing Windmills, Butalid reflects on how her own mother showed her what unconditional love means, and how she has passed this understanding to her own children and grandchildren.
This cycle of love and care creates a legacy that extends far beyond material possessions or financial inheritance.
The legacy of unconditional love is something that one’s grandchildren will carry with them throughout their lives.
Beyond mere sentiment, unconditional love also has tangible weight, surprisingly enough. Have you wondered why sick children get better more quickly because of how much time and energy their grandmothers invest in their care? This is because a grandmother’s love acts as a protective shield which can help children endure difficult circumstances.
This is perhaps the most important legacy a grandmother can leave—the knowledge that someone in this world loves them without condition or expectation.
Maya Butalid’s journey in Chasing Windmills shows how grandmotherhood can be a source of renewal and purpose later in life.
Even after her breast cancer diagnosis, she continued to cherish her role as a Lola, finding the energy and the joy in her relationships with her grandchildren.
The love she gives and receives through these relationships sustains her through difficult times and reminds her of what truly matters. This is the power of grandmotherhood—it connects us to both the past and the future, giving our lives meaning that transcends our individual existence.
If this exploration of legacy, love, and the joy of being a grandparent has touched your heart, you will find even more wisdom and inspiration in Maya Butalid’s Chasing Windmills.
Order your copy today and discover how one woman’s journey through activism, immigration, motherhood, and grandmotherhood can illuminate your own path.
