I often hear that I am (too) modest. By saying that I am ‘too’ modest, they mean that I should show more of myself. This implies that they find that there is more in me than I show, and that I should show it. But being ‘too’modest may imply that I allow others to ignore me.

Of course, modesty has a positive side, i.e. modesty without a ‘too’. If one is modest (i.e. without a ‘too’), it implies that you have your own strength. You have the strength to let others go first, because either you know that you will get there, or have already arrived yourself. You have the strength to make yourself vulnerable, because this could encourage others to share their opinion with you, or to stand up for themselves.

Modesty has always been an important part of my upbringing. My father was a proud man, and if he succeeds in something, he always boasts about it. And my mother would react saying “stop bragging you”.  And if I am openly happy with something that I had achieved, my mother would say “keep that to yourself, and don’t brag about it like your father.” I have thus learned not to publicly pat myself on the shoulder. I do pat myself in the shoulder, but only for myself; or I tell my husband – he is my biggest fan.

Back to the topic of modesty. I wonder if I am modest, with or without a ‘too’.